Again.

Again. And. Again.
April 30th 2011, last day of April in 2011, the very first post from me in 2011.

The boys are growing up and ever are they so amazing and ever do I feel so inefficiently adequate for being their father.
My patience runs thin and my guilt runs deep, as so it seems to me.
I love them tremendously and only want what is best for them, or or is it expect only the best from them? Now that is a contradictory if I ever knew one.
I am and feel way too uptight and unhappy.
Why am I here? Why are we here? What is our purpose? Why do we develop relationships so that it would end painfully, either good or bad? I think especially the good relationships that has endured over time, it ends really painfully.
Spiritually speaking and logically according to God's wisdom, we are in the sixth day and working towards that rest, at least according to the book of Hebrews quoting from the Book of Psalms.
This world is evil, I know, to which why the Bible, the Word of God that is, unrefutable, and there really is a God.
As much as I crave wisdom and wish maybe I have a tenth or even just a tiny little bit of knowledge as King Solomon, as I realizes it more and more, futile. The letter from Paul points out in one of his letter to the Corinthians, "If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.". I am nothing. I am nothing if I have not loved, period. Is Paul's word holy from God? Yes.
So for all the days that I have known Christ, all the challenges that I have endured, all the sins that I have commited, and through all the grace, mercy and love I have received from God through the sacrifice of Jesus, this so call love, is my far the most challenging aspect of God's knowledge, not, gift.
Proof? Even Adam and Eve didn't understand it.
Why not?
I love my boys and I love my wife, that I know from my heart that God had blessed me with. Yet time and time, I fall short and win against God by sinning against them.

I guess, or not guess, but think that this is what they refer to as mid-life crisis. Maybe.

A time in life that I feel that I have rendered all the services of life in the developing ages, and just realized that life is good, and it has an ending?
Why?

I may be pontificating.

Ou, yes, ou, a thought popped in my head. "The invalid at the pool"
A voice in my head said "Do you want to get well?" without delay, my response was: "but I have been here for 40 years and no one is helping me." as we all know what, the next dialog would be "Get up and walk!"

Am I sulking? Am I being lazy and have lost hope? Am I resentful? Am I like Noah or Job once was, and is angry?
Probably. After all, as they, I am only human. Which proves even more so that God is right, He is real, and so was Jesus.

Whatever it may be, I am sick and tired of it, that is for sure.

So with a resounding yes, yes, I am getting up, I want to be well, I will pick up my mat and walk.

To God be the Glory, amen!

Memories

August 12, 2010

I am overwhelmed with sadness.
It has been an emotional week since I found out about a passing of a good friend.
How can it be?
Is it real?
Is it true?
I carry on my regular routine, but memories of him appears in my mind and in my sight.
What happened?
Is he gone?
What is death?
Why is it sad?
Why is it physically painful even though there is no physical contact?
Why is it emotionally painful even though there's nothing around?

Memories.

Good memories.

John 11:1-44

I cannot help to think and remember the love and compassion that Jesus has. As I read that passage again tonight, as much as Jesus was the Son of God, and everyone knows that he is the Son of God:
"But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask." - v.22.
"Yes, Lord," she told him, "I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world." - v27.
"Jesus wept." - v35
Feelings are real.
Memories are real.
Jesus is real.

Be real.

Living

Titus 3

1. subject to rulers
2. to authorities
3. to be obedient
4. to be ready for every good deed
5. to malign no one
6. to be peaceable
7. gentle
8. showing every consideration for all men

"He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out upon us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, ⁷so that being justified by His grace we would be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life."

"those who have believed God will be careful to engage in good deeds..."

To God be the Glory.

Teach

Titus 2
"¹You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine."

Older men are to be:

1. temperate
2. worthy of respect
3. self-controlled
4. sound in faith, in love and in endurance

Older women:

1. reverent in the way they live
2. not to be slanderers
3. not to be addicted to much wine
4. teach what is good

Younger women:

1. love their husband
2. love their children
3. self-controlled
4. pure
5. be busy at home
6. be kind
7. be subject to their husbands

Young men,
self-controlled.

"In your teaching show integrity, seriousness ⁸and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us."

Slaves:

1. be subject to their masters in everything,
2. try to please them
3. not to talk back to them
4. not to steal from them
5. show that they can be fully trusted
6. in every way they will make the teaching about God our Savior attractive

" ¹¹For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. ¹²It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, ¹³while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, ¹⁴who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good."

We shall wait patiently for the blessed hope.

To God be the Glory.

Hold firmly

Titus

"...Rather he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. ⁹He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it."

1. be hospitable
2. loves what is good
3. self-controlled
4. upright
5. holy
6. disciplined
7. hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught
8. encourage others by sound doctrine
9. refute those who oppose the sound doctrine

To God be the Glory

Be Merciful

Jude

"²²Be merciful to those who doubt; ²³snatch others from the fire and save them; to others show mercy, mixed with fear—hating even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh." -NIV


"²³save others, snatching them out of the fire; and on some have mercy with fear, hating even the garment polluted by the flesh." - NAS

" ²² And you must show mercy to those whose faith is wavering. ²³ Rescue others by snatching them from the flames of judgment. Show mercy to still others, but do so with great caution, hating the sins that contaminate their lives." - NLT

Be merciful:

1. compassionate or kindly forbearance shown toward an offender, an enemy, or other person in one's power; compassion, pity, or benevolence: Have mercy on the poor sinner.
2. the disposition to be compassionate or forbearing: an adversary wholly without mercy.
3. the discretionary power of a judge to pardon someone or to mitigate punishment, esp. to send to prison rather than invoke the death penalty.
4. an act of kindness, compassion, or favor: She has performed countless small mercies for her friends and neighbors.
5. something that gives evidence of divine favor; blessing: It was just a mercy we had our seat belts on when it happened.

Very interesting.

To God be the Glory.

3 John

"Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good. Anyone who does what is good is from God."

To God be the Glory